A City Detox that Goes Wrong
For me, detox means the same as decluttering. It is about getting rid of the access and replacing it with something purposeful and meaningful (correct, Marie?). One can reconsider pretty much anything, not necessarily physical. And so, when I felt like I was having too much of London, I decided to go on a city-detox. After only two days, I returned with a new detox resolution.
I feel like I keep coming back to the countryside every time I feel overwhelmed. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something, but my age is screaming - no you can’t, there are no jobs in the countryside. I guess urbanism happens for a reason. Ugh. Anyways, the countryside is my safe place every time I start feeling the first signs of burnout. It was the case also this time when my body was telling me - you need to get out. And so I listened and did exactly that. Detoxed from the city.
People can detox their digital life, social connections, wardrobes, food, waste, the list goes on. This time, rather than on belongings, be it digital or physical, I decided to focus on something else (let me name it when I know what to call it). I was getting exhausted by the exhaustion of London. It is not only the exhausts but it is also the vibe the city gives you. Sometimes, it can be JUST. TOO. MUCH. I felt like I needed a break. And the best place to go? Countryside. The most beautiful city to go to? Bath. Good reason to visit? My great friend’s birthday.
It felt good going back, not to places but to memories.
Being in Bath always brings back the same memories, which I have spoken about exhaustively in the past (read here). This time it was not about where but why and, most importantly, with whom. It was the time when I did not need to worry about anything and simply enjoy the moment. Being in the playground with my friends brought back all my childhood memories. Visiting the Botanical Garden reminded me of the first time my brother came to visit me in the UK. Enjoying the rooftop pool at the Spa recalled my then birthday treat from my mum. It felt good going back, not to places but to memories.
Bath beautifully cleaned my mind, so I was able to come back to the city and focus on what matters to me the most - myself. I made a crucial decision. To detox (ha, there you have it). But this time it was different. I have been fighting with trying to quit my social smoking for some time, that weekend unsuccessfully. I have been trying to live more healthily, cycling everywhere, but with London’s smog healthy living goes out of the window. The last thing on the list is actually quite new. It also happened because of Bath, more specifically the reason that brought us down there. The birthday party. On that night, I got really drunk. Seriously drunk. It was disgusting. And what’s worse? I blacked out. Not only am I not aware of what I did but I don’t even know which people to apologise to. Ugh again.
This experience was such a punch in the stomach that I decided it to stop. Immediately. No exceptions. It has now been a week since I have not touched alcohol or cigarettes. And it will continue! I have a strong motivation. My skin has improved, my body is less tense, the spark returned to my eyes. And people have noticed. This gives me a reason to keep smiling and keep going. Will it last forever? Who knows… it’s all about balance.